It has been one of the hardest days yet in our journey of homelessness. We have been living in hotels since January 4th, almost four months. Today Craig packed up all of his stuff and used his hateful words to rip my heart apart. I thought we won the battle after last month of enduring two weeks of Anita being here. But today he said that she was right because he would never win with me.

Jamie told me that to argue does not resolve anything. It just adds more pain. And that I should let him go and burn his bridges just like Jeff did. I looked at Craig and he looked at me. Such sadness in both of us. I know it is spiritual attacks that are more than we can endure. Many times I have thought of going to a place where they take care of insane people. A place where I can just veg totally out and escape this hell.

I have gained all the weight back that I had worked so hard to lose. My ears are constantly ringing and it drives me crazy. I am totally bored with mindless nothingness.

But I am grateful for the roof over our heads. We have stayed at Howard Johnson, Red Roof and Crestwood Suites... the cheapest hotels in Austin. But we have not slept on the streets. Every time we are down to only having enough money for one more night God provides another miracle. How many times does God have to remind us that He will take care of each day?

Craig told the kids that he is sorry for the way he acted today. That he thinks we would be better without him and the attacks that he is under. I told him that we are all tired. We want a place that we can call home.

April 7, 2011
(1 year later and still staying in hotels)

Dear Paula:

This email is long so go get a cup of coffee and imagine that we are having a best friend chat. I thought about writing some of this on facebook, but I know Craig would say I share too much. You are the only friend that I can pour my heart out to. The only friend that invited us over for dinner when we had no kitchen to cook in. The only one that stood with us during our ministry shows. The only one that took us in during Christmas to make it a special time. And of all our friends you had the least, but the biggest heart.

Craig got an email two days ago from a man who said he was trying to reach him but the phone number did not work. Craig emailed him back and the man said that he purchased the contents in our storage. He hardly ever tries to contact the people but I guess he was touched by all our baby and family photos and records. He offered to return our personal records, photos and bibles to us. We were all four touched by his kindness.

But it has been hard for me. Jamie said she watched a skit where a person was being chiseled by God little by little. When we lost the house in Manor we gave all our furniture away on Craigs list and but our personal books, writings, and business items in storage. I have over $2,500 of graphics that I purchased for my Just 4 Kids Magazine that is in my computer. I have Christian Children Resources that I have been buying and collecting for over 30 years, and hard copies of the magazines and books that I published. I really trusted God to take care of it, because it is His that was left in my possession.

We owed $1,000 for 4 months and I am not sure how much they sold the contents for, but I know the manager told me last time that we got behind that the owner said he would take $500 when we owed 3 months if we would get everything out. We were able to pay the $750, and that was around November. It was one reason we moved in with my son Brad so that we would have enough money to pay storage. We paid over $2,700 in 2010 to hold on to our stuff. I kept feeling that we should get the stuff out and get a smaller unit that was more affordable, but Craig kept saying Trust. On March 1st my personal account where I receive my back child support was overdrawn $500, and the storage unit placed a charge of $500 on my Just 4 Kids Account which over drew that account. I was upset and called the bank asking how the storage unit could do that when they had not been given tha account information since March 2010. It was a pending charge which was taken off before it went through. The lady from the bank said that the bank had approved it, so I am not sure what happened. Craig was going to call the manager at the storage, but never did. We did not get any mail from them about the contents being put up for sale.

We had paid $750 in November, which caught us up until the end of that month. December we did not pay, and received a certified letter at the end of December saying this was notice that they could sale the contents. I am not sure why I am going on with all the details, except there is no one for me to talk to. Craig gets defensive and I am sure he is just as heart broken as me.

Do not get me wrong, I am very grateful about the man offering to give our photos back. I had really been praying to God about those pictures and a ancestry family bible and photos that are over 100 years old. And the man said he would offer to sale things back to us after he finishes the inventory. On the other side I no longer have to worry about the monthly $250, or having to get money to move the things out. Everything that I now own fits in a suitcase. And most of the clothes in the suitcase no longer fit or is long sleeved. No time in my life have I owned so little. I feel that this is a sign to really get out in the ministry.

Today Craig and I went to an Austin business event where non-profit companies gather in booths to inform the business owners what help is available to them. There is money out there, and Craig has been to these events before and taken his plans to some of these companies. I know that God can change circumstances in an instant. He has shown us before that He can tell His people to do something and they will obey. One time when we had the Christian bookstore a man was driving by from another city. God told him to stop in, and Craig just happen to come over while he was there. I managed the bookstore and he did the military contract bids from the house. Craig started telling the man about something that we were doing, and right in the middle of the conversation the man said he would be right back. He went to his car and came back with a check for $200 or $100 and said that God told him to give it to us. We did not really need the money, but the lesson was to know that when God tells His people to do something they obey. And just like when God told the animals to go in to the ark they obeyed Him. (I just went back up to the intro of this letter and wrote about you being my best friend, which brought a tear or two to my eyes!) I really love you.

Craig is looking for a job and also looking at getting funding for our JCI Productions, which I did have to give up that website because I did not have $35. for a yearly fee for the name. But I feel that by losing everything why would we even try to start over with buying things for a house or business. I am ready to go out with my suitcase and reach out to the broken hearted.

I finished the 40 lessons of the life and ministry of Jesus. I am now working on web pages from the book of John. I finished John 10 to 21, and now starting on the parables that Jesus told the Tuesday before he was crucified. He started on the way to the temple when the disciples noticed that the fig tree Jesus had cursed the day before was withered. Jesus told them that if you have faith of a mustard seed you could move mountains. They he started telling parable after parable at the temple. When Jesus left the temple He was still talking, and telling His disciples the signs of the end of days. So many of the wonderful stories that we love to hear was told on that day just two days before the Last Supper and when Jesus was arrested. Amazing to me of all the Wisdom that just poured out of Jesus on those last days.

I love spending time in the Bible every day reading Jesus' precious words.

We picked up a summer packet yesterday, and plan on going live again on June 1st. Plans are still under way to close Channel Austin in October. So summer will be the last season there. I have missed filming. We filmed at Onion Creek park the other day, and I loved it. Gideon was running around and kept coming back to me to be filmed. He was so cute bringing his friends over to be filmed too. He grew up in front of the camera, and he loves being the star!

Love You, Mauri

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